


With You

by hunters_retreat



Category: Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles
Genre: First Kiss, Hurt Derek, M/M, Not a First Kiss, Post-Apocalypse, Pre-Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-09
Updated: 2014-04-09
Packaged: 2018-01-18 17:47:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1437223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunters_retreat/pseuds/hunters_retreat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He screams because of what happened there, but he hadn’t at the time.  No, at the time he’d loved every second of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With You

  
He knows they hear it.They don’t say anything but he can see it in their eyes in the morning.They think they know what he went through, but they don’t.Not even Jessie knew.He screams because of what happened there, but he hadn’t at the time.No, at the time he’d loved every second of it.

He hadn’t know.  John had.  John had known all along and it’s that part that fills him with screams and makes him tremble.He would have been proud to have known, before.Before it all began.He would have been proud to know the man that had such faith in him was his nephew.

Now it was a curse. And every night he relived those memories and tried not to know the rest, but he couldn’t separate future and present in those dreams.

“How long?”

He doesn’t jump when John asks. John’s been watching him stare out at the water across the pier out back of their secluded safe house. No one there but them for as far as the eye can see. John’s been watching him for days now and he knew it was coming. Still doesn’t prepare him for it.

He shakes his head instead of answering. He doesn’t think he can look John in the eye, doesn’t think he can ever bring himself to look Sarah in the eye again either and it makes him angry because he hadn’t known!

“At first,” John scuffs his shoe on the wood planks as he crosses his arms over his chest and the movement is so familiar it’s heartbreaking.“I thought it was just the shock of seeing me this young.But then I noticed things.You don’t look at me like I’m young.You search.You look for differences.You take orders just the same, accept me as who I am and never question it, but you look at my body to see who I am.”

John sits down next to him and he wants to flinch away as much as he wants to push him down onto the planks and devour him until there’s no lines left to blur.He holds himself deathly still instead.“You’re looking for a lover who isn’t there yet.”

He has no idea how John’s voice can be so steady, saying what he is.Derek can feel his hands shaking like they haven’t since his first battle and he hasn’t done anything, hasn’t admitted to a damn thing yet.

“I don’t know what history you have with me Derek, but it’s still me.The man I’m supposed to become, he started somewhere.”

John’s hand is on his face, turning him and there’s a firmness in his grip that demands obedience. “I’m here and I don’t care about the rest of it. I can’t trust anyone else. I can’t be myself with anyone else. I need you. Maybe I need you in the future for the same reason, but now, here, I need you.”

Derek closes his eyes because it’s sick and twisted to feel this amount of joy from his words, from something so wrong, but he can’t help what he feels.Too many nights hidden away from seeking eyes with John-that-he-will-become.

“Are you here Derek? Are you here with me now?”

He doesn’t open his eyes when soft lips press against his.He doesn’t answer until he feels John pull back, feels the weight of his look as if it were stalking him.“Yeah John.I’m with you."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> OMG! So apparently I'm sick and have an incest kink because something about the John/Derek relationship just make me want to throw them into bed together. God help me, but i'm going to hell for writing incest in another fandom. (as if Wincest and Angel porn weren't enough to get me there already...sheesh) Written for comment_fic prompt of Derek/Author's Choice, screams.


End file.
